Ram Dass
When confronted with loss, it’s easy to react from the gut, assign blame, and condemn. Unchecked anger and ego insist that individual moral imperatives override the circumstances of neighbors. Those who don’t live up to impossible, arbitrary standards of participation and action are damned and excluded. In twisted irony, the instinct to belittle those who shared a common goal, but did not pursue it righteously enough, sounds suspiciously like, “she shouldn’t have worn that out, she got what she deserved,” and, “pull up those bootstraps and work harder.”
It ignores economic and social reality. It invites more ablism, classism, and division. It alienates the most vulnerable among us. It undermines radical belonging and meeting people where they are.
Don’t march your allies down the road to perdition.
In this journey, we have to be gentle with our community. Especially now. Faced with so much uncertainty, we are called to be strong for our neighbors and soft in our approach. We need to heal, not cause additional harm.
Offer your shoulder in comfort, not your finger in blame.
Pointing fingers is easy. Whether castigating in person or typing on the keyboard, there’s a separation between ourselves and our audience. Offering our shoulders and arms is hard. There is no space between us. Tears stain our shirts, muscles grow weary from holding each other up. To advocate and to create genuine community is to be tender with the hearts of the hurting, not to shatter them further.
In a world where kindness is counterculture, embrace nonconformity.
The demand for cruel despots is filled. What we need now are healers and builders – for likeminded souls and ourselves. I’ve started this blog to create space for growth, comfort, and hope. If we cannot liberate ourselves from a negative world, what prayer do we have in fostering a positive one?